To follow up on my last post, Being pretty isn’t enough for social media success, I wanted to discuss what I like to call Social Media Isolationism or Social Media Agoraphobia. And there are two forms of this sort of isolationism: invitational and exclusionary. They both mean you don't venture outside your own four social media walls; however, the first is welcoming and the other is dismissive.

The welcoming pineapple

Jay Gatsby was a welcoming pineapple. He desperately wanted to woo his beloved Daisy and opened his grand home hoping he just might, one night, find her at one of his lavish parties. Or, at the very least, create enough buzz so that his lost love might hear of him and ask about him.

Not always the direct result of a grand romantic gesture, the welcoming pineapple is often associated with the feeling that one is so appealing, so compelling a brand, product, or service that your friends and neighbors should very well come a-calling. You host awesome dinner parties, right? You have the biggest television, have your own pool and tennis court, and have several guest rooms. Why would you ever want to leave your own social media home?

Why wouldn't everyone want to take advantage of your generosity and party favor to want to go anywhere else, to say nothing of staying home in their pallid, beige, one-bedroom apartments? This generosity often comes with the stink of superiority or ego that eventually turns people off.

And if the proffered goodies are so compelling as to compel, this commitment might very well be contingent only upon the bounty, the booty, the swag lavished. In other words, your friends are bought and paid for and are your friends forever (or until you run out of cookies and candies and a subscription to cable).

In terms of a country, this open-border country would be glad to allow anyone in but since this country is obviously so awesome, offering everything and anything you could very well ever want in the first place, people just visit, nobody really ever leaves and a majority don't even possess a passport.

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A presentation at the 2011 Strata conference.

The leading big data conference, Strata 2012, the leading big data conference, is coming up fast! And you can save 20% with the Socialmedia.biz discount code below.

Strata debuted to a sold-out crowd last year and has become the top event in the field for the people and technology driving the data revolution.

What: Strata delivers the nuts and bolts of building a data-driven business — the latest on the skills, tools and technologies you need to make data work.

When: Feb. 28 to March 1, 2012

Where: Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, Calif.

Discount: Register now and save 20% with discount code SOCIALBIZ

From the conference organizers:

Get control of the new data opportunity at Strata — immerse yourself in three full days of hands-on training, information-rich sessions and an Expo Hall filled with the key players and products. Strata’s topics and programs include Data Science, Business & Industry, Visualization & Interface, Hadoop & Big Data, Policy & Privacy, and Domain Data. Plus, new for 2012 are two all-day Intensive Programs: Jumpstart - the missing MBA for Big Data; and Deep Data - a no-holds-barred program with advanced technical content.

The Strata experience is made up of intensely practical sessions for both business users and hardcore technologists; success stories (and cautionary tales) from startups making data their business and established companies that are saving millions and creating new revenue streams; great networking opportunities; and keynotes that snap the big picture into focus. We hope you will join us at Strata to explore emerging data tools and technologies that are shaping the future.

I always tell clients that it is no longer enough to be beautiful when it comes to marketing online. The Internet has become more like an Oscar after-party than it is like the airport Ramada. Online, you’re never the lone beauty in the hotel lounge. Online, you’re surrounded by equal or greater beauties. What’s more, the most successful online social media barflies are aggressive in addition to gorgeous. Too many companies that have invested vast resources in social have Pretty Boy/Girl Syndrome. A symptom of this disease is an expectation that others will go out of their way to pursue you.

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The Long Tail

Last week, I wrote about how to succeed with B-list bloggers, but maybe some of you aren't convinced. So, this week, I want to draw an analogy to successful Google AdWords approaches so that you can see how to apply that same technique to blogger outreach. When it comes to reaching out to bloggers online, there's a lot you can learn from Google AdWords. Long-tail blogger outreach is like long-tail Google AdWords advertising. Instead of putting all your money on the top 10 most expensive and popular keywords that everyone bids on, smart advertisers segment their markets and hyper-target their highest-performing keywords with their most compelling ads and content while always pruning away their worst performers.

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It’s always a tough question: would you rather be the smallest fish in a big pond or the biggest fish in a small pond? Would you prefer to be the ugliest pretty person or the prettiest ugly person? Would you prefer to have the lowest IQ at MIT or the highest IQ at State?

This is all according to your preference, but when it comes to a blogger outreach campaign, the decision is never so zero-sum, not nearly so either/or. You can always do both, right? You can always secure hundreds of long-tail earned media mentions while you’re desperately working on securing coverage on Mashable and TechCrunch. You can lock in hundreds of posts short term while you’re wining and dining Pete Cashmore in Manhattan to make sure you become BFFs, so that you’ll have that inside track on getting column inches for your future newsworthy announcements.

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A bald eagle at Hollyhock, British Columbia, during a break in the action at Media That Matters 2011 (photo by JD Lasica).

Our SuperGuide to 2012 conferences and events

For the past five years we've assembled a calendar of the best social media, technology, marketing and news media conferences for the upcoming year. Here's our roundup of 2012 conferences and events.

While this is indeed a SuperGuide, we wanted to make this useful, so rather than include every event on the planet (sorry, Fancy Food Show!), we focused on those we think will be of most use to folks in the tech, marketing and media sectors.

If you know of other must-attend events, please add them by posting in the comments at the bottom. Also please check out our Calendar of 2012 nonprofit and social change conferences on our sister site, Socialbrite. A technical note: This calendar displays better on Firefox than on Webkit siblings Chrome and Safari, which are ignoring our CSS tweaks.

Future of Money & Technology SummitApril 23San Francisco

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Conference	Date	Place
January
UXCamp DC	Jan. 7	Washington, DC
UXCamp DC is about bringing together the people who care about making websites and mobile apps that provide a great user experience.
Affiliate Summit West	Jan. 8-10	Las Vegas
Affiliate Summit West includes an exhibit hall with affiliate merchants, vendors and networks, as well as multiple tracks of educational sessions covering the latest trends and information from affiliate marketing experts.
PCMA Convening Leaders Conference	Jan. 8-11	San Diego
At PMCA (Professional Marketing Club Association), you'll encounter new approaches, from a retooled opening general session and expanded hands on Learning Lounge to a streamlined onsite registration and innovative food and beverage functions.
Virtual Edge Summit	Jan. 9-11	San Diego
The summit lets you learn what you want, the way you want! You'll find deep-dive presentations, 15-minute snippets, 30-minute conversations, interview sessions and technology demos.
Consumer Electronics Show	Jan. 10-13	Las Vegas
Now in its fourth decade, CES reaches across global markets, connects the industry and enables consumer electronics innovations to grow and thrive.
Growth Conference	Jan. 11	Long Beach, Calif.
Here you'll find hundreds of ways to seize fresh business opportunities and explore everything you need to know to grow your business. Get fresh ideas, hands-on tools, powerful insights and strategies that work. Get in on the conversation with how-to sessions and invaluable networking.
edSocial Media Bootcamp	Jan. 12	Windsor, Conn.
The bootcamp offers a one-day, practical application of social media tools in a school environment. The workshop provides an in-depth, hands-on introduction to social media for school leaders and administrators, complete with an opportunity to create and share content through edSocialMedia's practice lab site and other social media channels.
IBM Connect	Jan. 16-17	Orlando, Fla.
This new two-day conference is aimed at forward-thinking business leaders who turn the opportunity that comes from becoming a social business into measurable business success. Taking place alongside Lotusphere 2012, the conference showcases the strategic value and tangible impact that being social can have on your business and how social business solutions and collaboration concepts can deliver real return on investment. Through sessions led by industry and IBM leaders, dialogue and idea sharing, session leaders discuss the why, what and how of using social, mobile and cloud technologies can enable people to improve their business performance.
WebVisions	Jan. 18-20	New York
WebVisions explores the future of design, content creation, user experience and business strategy in an event that inspires learning, collaboration and entrepreneurism.
DLD12	Jan. 20-24	Munich, Germany
For the eighth time, Burda's digital summit gathers international agenda setters in Germany and discusses topics of the digital world.
TransportationCamp	Jan. 21	Washington, DC
TransportationCamp is a free unconference bringing together transportation professionals, technologists and others interested in the intersection of urban transportation and technology.
PodCamp Halifax	Jan. 22	Dartmouth, Canada
A PodCamp is a free BarCamp-style community unconference for new media enthusiasts and professionals including bloggers, podcasters, YouTube producers, social networkers and anyone curious about new media.
Social Media Conference	Jan. 23-25	Miami
Social Media Conference is the largest convention focused on social media in the enterprise. The convention is attended by intelligence agencies, NGOs, Global 1000 businesses and academic institutions involved in the social media market. Topics include social media, business strategies, mobile & wireless technology, legal, news, online community software, strategy, funding and new technologies.
Emerging Media Conference	Jan. 23-26	San Francisco
This gathering gives people the chance to view and experience the latest in technology advances and upcoming product roll-outs. For three full days there will be demonstrations, presentations and discussions led by some of the most connected and recognized experts in the industry.
BlogWell	Jan. 24	Dallas
Learn how big brands use social media and hear eight case studies on the social media programs in place at corporations such as Dell, REI, Coldwell Banker, Texas Instruments and others.
Beyond Enterprise 2.0	Jan. 24-25	Amsterdam
Discuss how to turn crisis into opportunity by increasing employee productivity and embracing change. This international summit will bring together cross-industry senior executives to discuss key issues on maximizing internal communications through social media.
Content Marketing Retreat	Jan. 26-27	Langley, Wash.
This year's conference will move beyond "building the case for content marketing" to sharing strategic insight and best practices on how to effectively plan, manage and measure content creation, curation, publication and distribution.
Macworld | iWorld	Jan. 26-28	San Francisco
Macworld | iWorld2012 is the world's ultimate fan event for those who use, create and love Apple products. Attendees will encounter a celebration of Apple tecnology-infused art, music and film as well as learning opportunities and a shopping mecca in an exhibit hall filled with products and services for Apple users of all skill levels and interests.
She's Geeky 10 - The 5th Bay Area Event	Jan. 27-29	Mountain View, Calif.
She's Geeky hosts unconferences across the nation, providing an environment for women working in technology and other geeky fields (science, engineering and math) to learn from one another, grow networks, connect across generations and discuss issues.
OMMA's Agency of the Year	Jan 30	New York
OMMA's Agency of the Year Awards celebrate the agencies that were able to rise above the rest over the past year -- the shops that represented the best of class in the online advertising community. Gold and silver awards will be presented to the top two overall agencies, as well as awards recognizing the agencies responsible for the year's best media planning and buying, search campaigns, Web design and site development, and creative.
Mobile Commerce Conference	Jan 30-Feb 1	San Francisco
This event is designed to help you share experiences, ideas and solutions with mobile-system professionals. Learn from an exclusive, expert-filled array of speakers representing all industries. Interact with fellow practitioners in conference workshops, working sessions, case studies and networking breaks.
iStrategy	Jan 31-Feb 1	San Francisco
Topics explored at iStrategy span all digital media channels and online business models including social media, search engine marketing, search engine optimization, mobile, viral/word-of-mouth marketing, affiliate marketing, email marketing and display advertising for e-commerce, publishing, lead generation and customer service. The iStrategy experience combines keynote speakers, expert panel discussions, interactive workshops and networking opportunities.
D: Dive Into Media	Jan. 30-31	Laguna Niguel, Calif.
D: Dive Into Media is the newest brand extension of D: All Things Digital, founded by Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher. While D: All Things Digital explores the bigger picture and analyzes the impact that the digital revolution has had on every facet of our lives, D: Dive Into Media will drill down into the evolutionary changes that are underway in media and what those changes mean for the industry's future.
The Crunchies	Jan. 31	San Francisco
TechCrunch kicks off 2012 with The Crunchies along with partners GigaOm and VentureBeat. The tech party to start the year will move to Davies Symphony Hall this year for both the awards ceremony and the famous after party. Nominations for the entrepreneurial spirited categories are in and being tabulated. Voting begins in early January.
February
Business Video Expo	Feb. 1-3	Miami
Video is emerging as a new type of corporate data that – when deployed in the right way – can make online meetings and corporate publishing more vital, vibrant and engaging than ever before. Business Video Expo will help you understand how to use evolving software and hardware solutions to transform your organization's approach to corporate communications – from the executive conference room to the employee desktop.
Innovative e-Marketing	Feb. 1-2	Barcelona, Spain
Reinforce your online presence and boost your brand and marketing activities through social media communities and effective email campaigns to reach your target audience, guarantee customer satisfaction and maximum ROI for an increased bottom line. Leading experts will address many of the issues facing the industry as well as look to the future to discuss the most important trends and developments.
SF MusicTech Summit X	Feb. 13	San Francisco
The summit brings together visionaries in the music/technology space, along with the best and brightest developers, entrepreneurs, investors, service providers, journalists, musicians and organizations who work with them at the convergence of culture and commerce.
Women 2.0 PITCH Conference	Feb. 14	Mountain View, Calif.
Learn from the leaders of successful high-growth startups and tech companies as they share best practices, growth strategies and disruptive product development stories.
RootsTech	Feb. 2-4	Salt Lake City, Utah
RootsTech is a leading-edge conference designed to bring technologists together with genealogists so they can learn from each other and find solutions to the challenges they face in family history research. Genealogists and family historians will discover emerging technologies to improve their family history research experience.
Vator Splash	Feb. 2	San Francisco
Splash is a single-track evening event and startup competition that gathers leading entrepreneurs, innovators, venture capitalists and angel investors across technology to inspire and energize the audience about entrepreneurship and innovation. Splash brings together high-caliber speakers who talk about how to build and scale great successful companies, how their industries are changing and the opportunities those changes are creating.
SoCon 12	Feb. 3-4	Atlanta
It's hard to ignore the enormous impact social media has had on the world. SoCon12 will explore these changes. Get connected with hundreds of professionals with diverse backgrounds as they attend the Southeast's premier social media networking event, now in its sixth year!
Social Fresh East	Feb. 6-7	Tampa, Fla.
Social Fresh East 2012 will be the first of a new focus for Social Fresh conferences. Join this conference for two days of advanced social media training from companies like Ford, RadioShack, Nordstrom and more.
Online Marketing Summit	Feb. 6-10	San Diego
Join more than 1,500 of your marketing peers as they share ideas, hear from expert practitioners and learn best practices in the areas of social media, demand generation, search, email, analytics, mobile, integrated marketing and more.
An Event Apart	Feb. 6-8	Atlanta
An Event Apart is an intensely educational two-day learning session for passionate practitioners of standards-based Web design. If you care about code as well as content, usability as well as design, An Event Apart is the conference you've been waiting for. Also coming to Seattle on April 2-4, Boston on June 18-20, Austin on July 9-11, Washington, DC, on Aug. 6-8, Chicago on Aug. 27-29 and San Francisco on Nov. 12-14.
SOBCon Europe	Feb. 7	Amsterdam
SOBCon is coming to Europe. SOBCon is the think tank of the social web where some of the best minds in the Internet space gather to present models, discuss insights, and determine best practices. SOBCon Europe is the European version focusing on business models for social responsibility and profit.
Enterprise 2.0 Summit	Feb. 7-8	London
The summit is an event organized by Kongress Media yearly since 2008. It is set up as a highly interactive gathering of Enterprise 2.0 and Social Business experts and practioneers in Europe. Its uniqueness is its intensive exchange of experiences and the practical insights and implications presented.
Social Media Strategies Summit	Feb. 7-9	Las Vegas
Social Media Strategies Summit has been designed to apply to a variety of industries. Six tracks are designed to focus on a particular industry. While tracks are organized by industry, attendees are encourage to move freely between tracks based on their individual learning objectives. Other SMSS events include SMSS Chicago , April 18-19; SMSS Miami , June 12-14, and SMSS London , Nov. 6-8.
Murmuration	Feb 8	Franklin, Tenn.
Join Gigya, Radian6, ExactTarget, Moontoast and ISM at the Historic Franklin Theatre to share insights, technologies and strategies that are changing the social marketing landscape. Learn how these leading technologies are making social monitoring, commerce and campaign integration a manageable and profitable reality.
SES Conference & Expo	Feb 9	San Diego, Ca
SES Conference & Expo is the leading global event series that educates delegates in search and social marketing, putting a special focus on tactics and best practices. SES Events provides instruction from the industry's top experts, including representatives from the search engines themselves. Other SES events include: SES London , Feb. 20-24, and SES New York , March 19-23.
Media That Matters	Feb. 10-11	Washington, DC
This year's theme, "Change for Good," features conversations about how independent social change filmmakers can execute integrated campaigns that are strategic, action-oriented and have enduring impact.
ACM Conference on Computer Supported Cooperative Work	Feb. 11-15	Seattle
CSCW presents research in the design and use of technologies that affect groups, organizations and communities. CSCW encompasses both the technical and social challenges encountered when supporting collaboration. The development and application of new technologies continues to enable new ways of working together and coordinating activities.
O'Reilly Tools of Change	Feb. 13-15	New York
O'Reilly's TOC Conference is where the publishing and tech industries converge, as practitioners and executives from both camps share what they've learned from their successes and failures, explore ideas and join together to navigate publishing's ongoing transformation. TOC 2012 delivers a deft mix of the practical and the visionary to give attendees the tools and guidance they need to succeed — and the inspiration to lead change.
Cloud Connect	Feb. 13-16	Santa Clara, Calif.
Learn about the latest cloud technologies and platforms from thought leaders in Cloud Connect's comprehensive conference and see leading companies showcasing the latest cloud platforms, technologies and services.
Social Media For Government Communications	Feb. 13-16	Washington, DC
Hear the latest practical advice on using new media and traditional communication tools to engage your community, along with helpful tools, tips and techniques to get started.
Social Media Week	Feb. 13-17	Various
Social Media Week is a multi-city global conference connecting people, content and conversations around emerging trends in social and mobile media. Events take place in New York, Paris, Toronto, Washington, DC, San Francisco, Singapore, Tokyo, Miami, London, Hong Kong and elsewhere through a series of creative events that connect brands, marketers, media and public venues.
Pubcon Paradise	Feb. 14-15	Honolulu, Hawaii
Pubcon Paradise 2012 will offer a multiple-day look at the future of technology presented by many of the world's top speakers. This event will be an ambitious gathering of search and social media innovators and leading technology and online marketing visionaries charged with offering attendees valuable new ideas and solutions for their businesses.

Schmooze with your buddies from around the world on .Friends

You and your friends from all over the world walk into a bar on New Year's Eve. The music is great, the bartender is friendly, and you and all your friends are dressed up in your favorite outfits. Your friend from London decides to pick a different song from the jukebox, your friend from Brazil decides to listen to the band instead, while the buddy you just met from Istanbul decides to play a cool YouTube video on the wall of the bar. You head out to the dance floor, whip out some amazing dance moves that are straight-out of a movie, and then the cute guy or girl you've been checking out comes over and buys you a drink. Before long you’re chatting it up like you've known each other forever, so you decide to have a video chat to get to know each other better.

The best part of all of this is that you never have to leave your living room.

The great virtual night out I just described is possible with .Friends (Dot Friends), a brand new app on Facebook that launched last week. The whole point of the app is to have fun, party with your friends and to meet new ones as well. You go into a virtual world, pick a hot spot from the world-map, and then live it up while chatting with your friends and meeting new ones.

I'm a heavy Facebook user so I know what an amazing platform it is for connecting with people. But Facebook is missing the unique element of personal interaction that is so important. That's where .Friends comes in. It lets you create a virtual "you" and provides a bunch of cool places where you can party and hang out. .Friends provides a new way and a new venue to interact with people and lets you get together with people from all over the world and hang-out as if you were all in the same spot.

This should sound familiar to tech watchers since a similar app has been making waves recently and raised a "bit" of money as well. But where I think .Friends really shines is in its stunning visuals which make the app a lot more fun to use. Not only that, but you have a ton of options in terms of how you can look in the .Friends world. There's a huge selection of hair styles, clothes and accessories to create a perfect look. After all, how can you meet people in a virtual world if the virtual 'you' doesn't represent who you are and your own individual style?

It's east to get started with the app. You can either follow the tutorial when you enter the app or just click on the .Friends logo on the top left. This will open a pull down menu that will enable you to navigate through the world, see the different venues around the globe, change your clothes and more. When you're in a location and you see someone interesting, you can click on them and then you’ll get a menu of options such as writing them a private chat or buying them a drink. Be careful though, people notice when you buy the cheapest drink on the menu. .Friends also lets you start-up a video chat with someone right from the app making it a convenient and fun way to meet people face-to-face.

While all of this already makes .Friends addictively fun, I think one of the coolest features is still to come. The team at .Friends is putting the finishing touches on a feature that lets you build your own location in the .Friends world. So if you've always dreamed of opening up your own bar or club and turning into a world-leading entertainer, you can do it all on .Friends.

Facebook and other social networks are transforming the way we communicate and stay in touch with our friends, making it easier than ever to maintain relationships that span the globe. .Friends - and other social tools that duplicate real-world scenarios - are going to extend the range of interactions we have on the web, add new depth to our online experiences, and strengthen our relationships with friends on social networks.

Disclosure: Blonde 2.0 handles .Friends' social media activity.

If you want to tar and feather your sworn enemy online using social media, now’s the perfect time to do it! Blog, tweet, and Facebook your slander or meritless accusation; make a chastising video, post it, promote it, and kick it to viral! Turn it up to 11! If you have an axe to grind or a bee in your bonnet, and want to get sweet, sweet revenge, a once-a-year opportunity is upon you … Christmas!

We’re entering a time when most companies — and people — are ill-prepared to defend their online reputations while they’re spending every last minute of their “use it or lose it” end-of-year vacation time! Suckers! From now until some time in January.

If you’re interested in committing mischief, it’s time to put all your resources online.

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Everloop: The social network for kids from JD Lasica on Vimeo.

Got kids? Then you'll want to know about a social network that does a solid job of providing a social experience for children and tweens that's safe, secure — and not totally lame.

I first met Everloop CEO Hilary DeCesare at the Stanford Summit last year, and caught up with her a short while back at the Silicon Valley Innovation Summit, the third name for the perenniel event put on by the AlwaysOn Network at Stanford University.

Everloop fills an important gap in social networking, giving kids up to age 13 a secure online environment where they can interact and communicate with their friends and peers. As the site says: Sorry, no grown-ups allowed (except for site moderators).

Everloop helps kids, at school or at home, learn and play in "a safe, secure social loop," Hilary says. It's evolved into a digital learning platform that allows children to explore their curiosity in the areas of gaming, sports, entertainment and other areas, she says. And as more tweens now use mobile phones, the site offers EverText as the kids' answer to Twitter.

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